Classmates.

Classmates. Aku rindu. Sumpah aku rindu.

I was scrolling through my Instagram feed when I saw a video posted by a fellow ex-schoolmate of mine. In that video was my two ex-classmates, dancing (more like practicing) dance moves from the song "Best Song Ever" by 1D. One of them spoke halfway through the video, and pain hits me in the chest like it has never did. I did not realize how much I missed them, till now. I did not realize how much I want to be there instead of being here, till now. The juniors are going to register tomorrow and they're making preparations for them. And I'm stuck here. Alone.

I feel empty, incomplete. I miss them a lot. School started a week ago and not a day goes by that I don't wish to be there instead of here. I kept wondering why did I leave. I kept thinking, and thinking, and thinking. I don't know what to feel. My current classmates are wonderful enough except for one or two people, but my previous ones feel like siblings. I don't know, man. I still remember those nights we stayed up late finishing tasks; those nights felt like yesterday and now here I am, miles away from them. I left them; the people who stuck with me throughout so many things just last year. I don't know. I'm probably just stupid. And selfish.

A close friend of mine lost her dad just a few days ago. Her dad has been sick for ages, and he was hospitalized since last December. It was so unexpected. She's still so young, and she's the eldest. And at that very moment I am miles away from her, miles and miles away, and I couldn't be there for her. I feel so useless, so wasted. She's my friend, she'll always be one. She's always so hyper and active and enthusiastic and anxious....hahaha. I miss her. I miss them. I miss everyone.