you

We meet again, today, after two months.

You didn't change much. Still tall and handsome, with that familiar smirk plastered on your face. Two months ago, I did not expect that this will happen. Leaving wasn't easy. It never was. Especially leaving a group of friends whom I love as much as my own siblings, and you, a guy I have been catching feelings for, since January last year.

You were wearing that blue baju Melayu, the one you always wore. I did not catch your eye today, like I usually did, but this time it did not matter. Seeing you in front of me, living, talking, smiling, is more than enough. I miss you more than words could express, but alas, there is no one to blame but me.

I wanted to take a photo with you, just the two of us, knowing that the next time we meet, everything would probably be very different. But I denied myself that opportunity, reminding myself that if I do that, I'd spill the beans on myself. Instead we took class selfies together, and you stood beside me, smiling to the camera. It was such a beautiful feeling, having you around, though only for minutes.

My friends told me that you might have known that I like you, but you chose to keep your silence. Is that true? Because I thought you didn't. I honestly thought that you did not know about my feelings for you. Because I am pretty sure I treated you the same way I treated the other guys. I scolded you, shouted at you at times, didn't I? But did you really realize that despite all that, I do like you more than anything?

I like you, I really do. I'd love to tell you, but I know I shouldn't.